Lindsay Lohan Is Lucky to be Alive

Not that she won't kill herself eventually.
Next time it could be a drug overdose or a fatal automobile accident, or she may even suffer a permanent medical fallout.
The paparazzi, media, her fans and the public have all been watching her downward spiral into what might possibly be her rock bottom. But it seems no one has cared enough to actually help the young star out. Not even her own mother.
Nicole Richie went the wrong way on the freeway, Britney Spears shaved her head and headed to rehab, Paris Hilton violated her probation after driving drunk and now Lindsay is being forced to suffer the consequences.
Today's Hollywood role models are anyting but.
It's startling that no one has been killed. These girls think that partying like they do is what they are supposed to do. It's accepted and even condoned in the industry. It's tolerated and it's celebrated.
The saddest part of it all is the millions of young children who look up to these young women and think that the Lindsay Lohan's of the world are who they want to be when they grow up.

Cranky Grammy

Britney Spears, Sit Your Ass Down!

I read earlier today that Britney Spears threw a fit on an airliner just before the flight was to take off because there weren't leather seats available to her.
Is this the same Miss Spears whom I have observed in numerous photographs on the internet displaying her high quality "hair extensions"? Who is this child kidding? Since when is she a high class diva?
You cannot fool us Britney. We know you live in a world of polyester, pleather and synthetic hair. If you'll walk into a public restroom with no shoes on you can bet your derriere can tolerate a non-leather seat. So sit down, shut up and buckle your safety belt!

Cranky Grammy

Grammy Returns!

Hello old-timers.
First of all let me apologize for being away for such a long period of time. My sister became very ill at the end of March. I had to care for her as most of our family has passed. I am elated to report to you that Mabel is doing well and able to care for herself once again.
I will be back blogging like the dickens once again. I hope there are a few of you who still care to visit old grammy. I did receive emails while I was away and I would like to say thank you to those who were concerned.
Grammy's back..now I just have to find something to bitch about.

Cranky Grammy

Holy Jolie

Angelina Jolie is the new Mother Teresa.
Angelina Jolie is a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN, an adoption role model, a mother and an accomplished model and actress. She has it all.
Everyone seems to forget that she was a heroin addict and that she stole the husband from a very loving wife. Some serious character flaws if you ask me. Surprising that she was to adopt so quickly. Don't they take these things into consideration?
We hear that Angelina is going to adopt and how it will take a few months. A couple days later she has the child. No special treatment there.
Has Angelina ever looked to adopt right here in the United States? There are hundreds of thousands of children with very sad backgrounds to chose from. And contrary to what Holy Jolie may believe, they do come in a variety of colors.

Cranky Grammy

The Luckiest Boy in the World: Sanjaya Malakar

Once upon a time there was a boy named Sanjaya Malakar.
Sanjaya had dreams of being the best singer in the world even though he knew there were much better vocalists than he.
The fates were kind to handsome little Sanjaya and he became world famous. Not for being the best singer in the world but for being the worst of the best singers.

The moral of the story is to never give up, even if you are undoubtedly terrible at what it is you are doing. Sanajaya is proof that you don't have to be the best to get the job. It's all about luck my friend.

Sanjaya Malakar is the Luckiest Boy in the World.

Cranky Grammy

Thank You Times Online For Loving Cranky Grammy

Thank you Michael Moran at Times Online for quoting me and including my blog entry about Anna Nicole Smith in his article yesterday. Here it is for you to enjoy.

Anna-Nicole Smith: The internet responds












By Michael Moran

In the weeks since Anna-Nicole Smith’s death many ostensibly serious news outlets have displaced major current events stories in order to satisfy the public’s ravenous hunger for details about the demise of this very 21st-century celebrity.

That’s as nothing though compared to the veritable explosion of blog posts looking for significance, sentiment, or a whiff of suspicion in the court case which has followed her meteoric burnout. As Hollywood.com suggests, Anna-Nicole would probably be thrilled could she but have known that reaction to her death would echo, however faintly, the enduring wave of sentimentality engendered by the death of Marilyn Monroe. Wildstarz takes the comparison further, revelling in that perennial bloggers' hobby-horse, the conspiracy theory. Concurring opinions gives us a lawyer’s take on the unseemly squabble over her millions, while Bodogbeat offers us an oleaginous portrait of Howard K.Stern, the lawyer at the centre of the case. Celebrific is similarly damning, outlining the scale of his financial motivation.

Mr.Stern is also shown in court as Live Leak carries a video of the judge's emotional summing up at the end of the curious legal squabble over her remains. Stern is by no means the only competitor in the unseemly competition to lay claim to the paternity of Anna-Nicole's recently born daughter, Dannielynn Hope, and by extension her vast fortune, as Celebrity Hack wryly illustrates with a handy wall-chart.

As befits a life lived principally for the benefit of the cameras, Anna-Nicole is well represented on YouTube: everything from a mawkish tribute which wil surely interest Elton John's publishers to a home video showing us Ms Smith pregnant, altered, and wearing makeup that we should warn you may unnerve the more delicate viewer.

Families.com reminds us that, behind all the noise, this should ultimately be seen as just another sad waste of a young life. But then again, as Cranky Grammy points out so acerbically: while she was alive, nobody really liked poor Anna-Nicole anyway.

Cranky Grammy

But Nobody Liked Anna Nicole Smith!

I am utterly disgusted by the press and their attempt to cover the Anna Nicole Smith saga.
The entire situation has turned into a media circus. And good gracious, I don't see why anybody cares.

















Before Anna died, she was the laughingstock of Hollywood. I don't know how many good things ever came out of someone's mouth about that woman. But I know it wasn't much.
No one liked Anna Nicole Smith.
She was a drunken, washed up, self medicating has been. And an annoying one at that.
The only stories you would ever hear about her was how she had been intoxicated at some event and how she had either taken her clothes off or let them slide off her body. She couldn't even be a good presenter let alone actress.
No one liked Anna Nicole.
Aside from the times when she was young and vibrant and modeling for Guess, she was going nowhere.
Her reality show was watched for nothing but utter amusement. People liked to watch the slurring fat pig mope around her pink palace and complain, and sometimes eat ice cream in bed. She was a joke. To the business, to her fans, and to herself. Anna was a self absorbed drug addict who wallowed in her own misery.
Probably because no one liked her.
And then along came Trimpspa.
At first it was Anna's miraculous comeback. The media was all over her, she was thin again and seemed to have her self confidence back. She claimed she owed it all to TrimSpa. Highly unlikely. I would suffice to say that Anna either had surgery or used drugs to lose that weight, then possibly moved on to TrimSpa to help keep it off. Soon after the novelty wore off and people were once again tired of Anna Nicole. Skinny or fat, she was still the same annoying sloppy Anna Nicole.
Because no one liked Anna Nicole to begin with.
Then the news of Anna Nicole and her pregnancy. Most everyone felt the way I did when I heard about it. "What the hell for?!" Anna was never cut out to be a mother and we all knew it. I also think that we all knew that something bad was going to happen. And it did. And that wasn't just because we didn't like Anna Nicole, it was just plain common sense.
So Anna Nicole is dead. Now everyone loves Anna, and feels so, so sorry for her. The Anna Nicole Smith bandwagon is rolling through town everyone, hop on with your bleeding hearts.

Cranky Grammy

Britney Spears' Downward Spiral

I really do feel that little Miss Pop Star is going to have a suicide attempt in the near future. That poor girl is taking drastic measures to ensure that the warning signs are all in place. But is anyone doing anything about it? I haven't seen a picture of Britney Spears and her mother -or any sort of role model- in months.
I fear for this child because she reminds me of a granddaughter of mine. So naive and beautiful but so goddamn dumb at times. If she were my grandchild I tell you what, I'd be flying my ass straight to wherever it was that she happened to be. And forget that speak softly and carry a big stick, I'd be yanking that child by the collar and marching her ass straight to grandma's house for some Granny Law and she wouldn't be leaving until her shit had been straightened out. Don't get me wrong, I would also love that child like no tomorrow. Because tomorrow is something that might not come for this kid.

Cranky Grammy

Howard K. Stern Killed Anna Nicole Smith

This is just a theory of mine, but I believe in a woman's intuition. This Howard gentleman (and I use the term loosely) took full advantage of Anna for many years.
This man had a sick obsession with her, even a little old woman like myself could figure that out. When Anna's son, Daniel, first died I immediately thought about that Howard character as well. I figured that he wanted to take out his competition so to speak.
Then when Anna died last week I thought that perhaps she was threatening to leave him or something and that led to his causing her overdose. Which think about it, how hard would it be? Just slip a lethal dose of that liquid heroin in her drink and the job would be done. Everyone knows about Anna's drug addictions so it's not like anyone would be pointing the finger at Howard right? Wrong.
You can bet your bottom dollar that this bug eyed obsessive man will somehow be at the bottom of all this. And don't expect him to get away with it either.

Cranky Grammy

American Suic-Idol

Just what in the hell is going on with the American public these days?
Millions of you (yes, YOU!) watching this atrocity they call, "entertainment".
I agree with Rosie.
Why do we think it's comical to watch these "millionaires" mock the looks and mentality of these people who so look up to them?
It's a disgrace.
In the case of the mentally challenged entrants, they may not fully comprehend the situation and the mockery they are being made into. Sadly, I imagine their parents and siblings do.
I don't care how they choose to thinly veil it, it is what it is.
They are being selfish, naive, and are behaving as snotty little children.
Their star will fall. And it will come crashing down with a shatter so loud that it will be heard over Paula Abdul's drunken laughter, Simon's ego boasting and Randy Jackson's growling stomach.


Cranky Grammy

Tom Cruise Baits and Hooks the Beckhams

The Scientologists must love Mr. Cruise. Tom has somehow convinced the British couple to move to Los Angeles where he promises to make their already "perfect" little celebrity life just that much better. Victoria and David Beckham will be spoiled with the best that LA has to offer, but all the while Cruise will be behind scenes working for the Beckham's souls. They are saying that the Beckhams are falling for it, hook, line and sinker. Before we know it Victoria will be wearing the Kabbalah string and David will be sucking Tom's %*@!.

Cranky Grammy

Cranky is Cool

Cranky.com Site Targets Over-50 Crowd

"An age-relevant search engine and Web site, Cranky.com targets baby boomers and seniors, aiming to remove confusion from the search process and deliver content that appeals to the over-50 crowd. Unlike other search engines, which define their success based on capturing and categorizing the entire Web, Cranky.com attempts to narrow search results to a relevant but short list." source

Cranky Grammy